Anxiety and Panic Attacks

i have bpd, i have bad anxiety and panic which is keeping me a prisoner inside my apartment.
im startled by loud noises, am afraid to answer my phone now and scared to open mail.
i have panic attacks and feel like i cant breathe everytime i have to leave my apartment.
i have inner rage and angry feelings alot. which i feel is a result of a bullying and abusive past. repressed anger or suppressed.
im scared to go out to incase i have an anger outburst.
i feel threatened when outside, and miss percieve threats to.
i cant make eye contact because i feel like im being threatend, intimidated.
i have paranoia that ive had years that people are out to get me, ruin every hope and aspect of my life.
i have extreme low, bleak moods everyday. where i feel hopeless.
my psychiatrist wont perscribe me meds even though ive said i feel like this, because he said they’re addictive.
theyve refered me for psychotherapy…but i heard i should have DBT dialectal behavioural therapy.
i also disocociate, and zone out when i have to go out to.
so the question is,

what do i do now?

how do i get the right help and therapy?

what is the right help and therapy?

should i accept what they say and go along with the
psychotherapy…even though i have these life impairing
symptoms?

i strongly feel i need meds but i dont no what to do..
i know you cant demand them.
please can somebody help

In the last few years I’ve had a lot of devastating experiences in relationships. People I know are any of the following: narcisstic, bipolar, paranoid, multiple personality, and more. Myself, I’m depressed, co-dependant, suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and anxiety/panic attacks. Out of everybody, I’ve sought out treatment via therapy and self-help options more. Even hypnosis. I’m trying to come to grips with the pain that has been done to me, and pain that I have caused others. In a lot of situations I’ve come across as the bad guy, mainly by sticking up for myself. In retrospect I’m thinking, was I really to blame? If I was, I’ll own it and try to correct myself, but what if it isn’t really me? What if it’s others that are wrong? When in situations where everybody is mentally damaged to one extent or another, and a situation heats up, how in the name of Heavens can you tell who is right. (And I don’t believe it’s whoever keeps their cool the best.) Help! Thanx
My reason for wanting to know who is right is that if I am wrong, I want to correct myself and grow from the situation. If we say “there’s no right answer” or “noone is right or wrong” how do we know where we stand regarding emotional stability? I know everything is not black and white. But what has happened because I’m unsure of just who is the nuttiest, is that I’ve begun isolating myself. I just can’t deal with people and situations any more. And then I don’t have to think about my question, because it doesn’t arise if I don’t put myself out there. Actually, I prefer Positive Solitude, and am gravitating towards that more and more. The craziness in relationships just isn’t worth the little benefit I derive from them any more.

I am unsure if i have been experiencing some sort of panic attack. It has happened 3 times in a year. My face, neck and chest goes bright red, i get a hot/cold feeling, i start feeling dizzy and i feel like i need to throw up. These episodes last about half an hour but it takes me at least an hour or two to calm down. I have Narcolepsy and anxiety and i am under treatment for both. Does anyone know what could be causing this?

I work in a secure building with no windows under bright floresent lights. Been there for a year, occasionaly i weold feel spaced out from the light. Lately soon after getting to work, i start to get anxious and start freaking out that im going to have a panic attack and cant seem to stop thinking about, it’s never ending cycle.
Eventually throught the middle of the day, the anxious feeling goes away and is replaced by extremely irritating numbness in my head which is litteraly driving me insane. It only happens while im at work. As soon as i step out of the building i feel totally normal other then dissoriantation from having numbness and feeling very tierd.
Any explanations?

PS. I’ve been benzo free for a month after one month of treatment for social anxiety.

i’m 19 but for my whole life i’ve had anxiety disorder…it got worse when i was 11 and started having panic attacks. my teenage years were a nightmare and i got no treatment. i began therapy last fall and in february i started zoloft, but got off it in june because while it stopped my physical anxiety attacks…it made me manic and then depressed. it was pretty unpredictable.

i started taking vitamin b-12 a couple days ago, so far no cigar. exercise and stuff helps but never lasts for too long.

i’m not sure if i try herbs or try a mood stabilizer as i have mood swings too, and they help anxiety.

can anyone relate to my situation? and what do you do for it?

i’m frustrated.